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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25765330">But a Trifle</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dan_Francisco/pseuds/Dan_Francisco'>Dan_Francisco</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, Gen, Mercedes is Merciless, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Tea, Unishment, promptfill</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:47:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25765330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dan_Francisco/pseuds/Dan_Francisco</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lorenz is guilty of a crime against the Golden Deer house. His punishment? Tea time with Mercedes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>/r/FanFiction Prompt Challenge #20 / August 2020, Fanworks Club Monthly Prompts</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>But a Trifle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Double promptifll once again. From r/fanfiction I was given the random trope Unishment (wherein a character's punishment for something is actually something they'd enjoy) and from the Fanworks Club discord I chose Tea as a prompt.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, Lorenz,” Claude said, sighing as he leaned back on Teach’s desk. “For your crimes – which are so heinous I dare not speak them into existence once again – you are being sentenced as is my duty as head of your House here at Garreg Mach.” He had to admit, it was kind of hilarious seeing Lorenz look so intimidated and scared. With Teach backing Claude up on this, though, he had good reason to be. Claude took in every part of this, since he got the feeling he would <em>never</em> see Lorenz so vulnerable and defeated in his life, and he sought to relish it.</p><p>“I am a noble, and I will accept any punishment with grace and dignity,” Lorenz replied, maintaining his best effort at a stiff and noble air. Honestly, it wasn’t much working.</p><p>“You are to have tea every weekend for a month with Mercedes,” Claude said, with all the gravitas such a punishment required. Teach and Lorenz both gave him confused looks, but Claude didn’t let his smile creep up his face. No, he had to keep his joy in, make sure Lorenz took this <em>completely</em> seriously. After all, if Claude didn’t take it seriously then obviously Lorenz wouldn’t, and his entire plan would fail before it even got off the ground.</p><p> </p><p>Lorenz stared at Claude, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as his brow furrowed, trying to logic his way through the punishment that had been imposed upon him. “I don’t understand,” he said. “Professor, surely this is not-”</p><p>“This is your punishment,” Byleth said, nodding. Good, Teach had caught on to his plan, or at least was just curious enough to see where this was going to play along.</p><p>Lorenz drew a sharp breath, before grandly bowing before them. “Very well. I shall entertain Mercedes to a tea party every weekend for the next month per your wishes, Claude, Professor. I bid you good day.”</p><p>The second Lorenz turned his back, Claude let his smile cross his face. Perfect. He had fallen for it hook, line and sinker, and Teach’s quick thinking just sold it even further. This was going to go <em>perfectly.</em> As expected, though, Teach turned to him, a skeptical look on his face as he arched an eyebrow at Claude. “That doesn’t seem like much of a punishment,” he noted.</p><p>“Oh, I know <em>full</em> well what I’m doing,” Claude said, waving a hand to assure his teacher. “Don’t worry, it’ll definitely be a punishment for him.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lorenz was never a slouch when it came to tea parties. Everything was impeccable, from the chinaware he picked out for the occasion to the tea leaves selected for the occasion. Nothing was left to chance, and he even went to the effort of arranging the locale for the tea party himself. After all, he couldn’t trust any servant to such a task – they knew where to place things, but not <em>why,</em> and ensuring everything was perfectly tailored to his guest was a duty only a proper noble could undertake. Today, he had Garreg Mach’s bakers prepare the finest sweets he knew of that would complement the treats that she had given Lysithea in the past, alongside tea leaves featuring a southern fruit blend. While Lorenz himself did not particularly care for fruit notes in his tea, it was an acceptable compromise between Mercedes’ preference for fruit and berries and his own interest in floral tones.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, perhaps such effort would be wasted on a commoner like Mercedes. He liked her well enough, as a person of course, but if only Claude had imposed this punishment with someone who would be more of his stature. Ingrid, perhaps. Hilda, maybe, or even Lysithea. Even conversing with Petra in her stilted Common would be more worth his effort as a noble than going to all this trouble for Mercedes. But, duty is duty, after all, and his duty is to host Mercedes and show her how a proper noble conducts a tea party. Lorenz would <em>love</em> to see that brute Dedue, or that disgrace to nobility Sylvain, do anything even <em>half</em> as good as this.</p><p> </p><p>Light footsteps graced the garden where he had set up a table, two chairs and the other requisite accessories for a perfect tea party, obviously belonging to Mercedes as she stepped in. Her shawl covered her shoulders and the top part of her Academy uniform, while her hair cascaded down upon her left shoulder, a bow in place to tie it together and prevent any stray locks from going rogue. A soft smile brightened up her face, naturally drawing any potential suitor’s eyes to her striking blue eyes, but unfortunately, as much as he cared to admire her, Lorenz knew there was never to be any serious thoughts regarding courtship with her.</p><p>“Mercedes, I am <em>so</em> glad you could join me today,” Lorenz said, bowing deeply as he pulled out a chair for her. “Please, relax and enjoy yourself.”</p><p>She nodded, taking her seat and graciously allowing him to slide her chair in just a touch further. Perhaps she <em>did</em> have some noble sensibilities about her after all. “Thank you for inviting me, Lorenz,” she said, gently taking up the cup in her hands. “This tea smells lovely.”</p><p>“Ah, I was sure you would notice,” Lorenz replied, taking his seat as well. “A blend of southern fruits, picked fresh from the monastery garden this morning. I believe Professor Eisner planted them after his trip to the south recently.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, how wonderful!” Mercedes said. Her voice was as lovely and soothing as ever, just like a cup of his favorite tea. “Byleth is a rather good gardener. He taught me so much about proper cultivation, I don’t know where I’d be without him!”</p><p>“P-Professor Eisner instructed you?” Lorenz asked, suddenly caught off-guard. That didn’t happen often. “I was under the impression he was solely instructing our class…”</p><p>Mercedes giggled, setting down the cup after taking a gentle sip of the tea. “I’m sure he is, but he does spent a lot of time in the greenhouse during the weekends. My interests happen to bring me there quite often as well! I suppose it’s a happy coincidence!”</p><p>Well, this was certainly… a surprise. Well, better to move on, then. Lorenz shifted the topic to Garreg Mach’s vast library, something Mercedes took a great interest in. They went on this subject for some time, before he naturally moved towards the meaning of nobility, mostly brought on by her mention of seeing a book regarding the more well-known noble houses of Fódlan among the library’s collection. Rather embarrassingly, it had taken Lorenz about fifteen minutes to realize she was not as invested in the topic as he was.</p><p> </p><p>In what felt like the blink of an eye, nearly three-quarters of an hour had passed, and Mercedes had refilled her cup no less than six times, taking occasional breaks to enjoy the provided food. For all the initial awkwardness, Lorenz felt he had made some headway, and believed that Mercedes was a genuine friend after all, even despite her lower class. Perhaps they may not meet again outside the Academy, but she was still someone he would remember for quite some time.</p><p>“You know, I think I’ve learned something about you,” Mercedes said, the same smile on her face as she lifted up her tea.</p><p>“Oh?” he asked. “May I ask what that is?”</p><p>“In truth, it’s not that you only extend your kindness to noble women, it’s that you can’t even see us of lower birth.”</p><p> </p><p>Lorenz, mid-sip, rather ungracefully spat out every drop of tea he had in his mouth – thankfully he had turned his head, otherwise he would have just soaked his poor guest and ruined any goodwill he had built up. Though, given what she had just <em>said</em>, maybe he already <em>had.</em> “Excuse me?”</p><p>“You and I have been together all this time, but never once did you look me in the eye,” Mercedes explained, still cheerfully sipping away.</p><p>No, she was wrong. Lorenz blinked, shaking his head as he dabbed away spots of tea from the corners of his mouth. “Th-that’s not…” he stammered, attempting to defend himself. However, the more he thought about it… the more he realized she was terribly correct. “I… I hadn’t noticed. But you will have to excuse any perceived rudeness. As the heir to House Gloucester, I have a duty.”</p><p>“Everything is about nobility and commonfolk with you, Lorenz,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “It’s tiresome.”</p><p>“Tiresome?” Lorenz furrowed his brow, taken rather aback by this. What could she possibly mean? “I am only fulfilling my duty. It is simply a matter of perspective.”</p><p>Mercedes laughed. Why on earth was she laughing? “Oh Lorenz, you’ll never change.”</p><p>“Whatever do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“I find myself growing irritated just looking at you.”</p><p>A personal attack! What on Earth was this?! “Is that so?” Lorenz said, scowling. “<em>I</em> fail to see how exactly I am so irritating.”</p><p>“You have claimed to not want to be involved with common women, as I have heard from Dorothea. But I know deep in your heart, you love being around us.” She smiled with all the beauty and grace of a woman who should <em>not</em> be smiling in such a way while saying such words, nodding towards him with her tea. “I hope you know what you’re depriving yourself of.”</p><p>“I am <em>certain</em> I’ve told you before that my marriage must be beneficial to House Gloucester. I’ve <em>no time</em> for fruitless courtship.”</p><p> </p><p>“If that’s true,” Mercedes said, blinking only once as a rather dour look crossed her face, “then your whole existence is rather sad.”</p><p>Lorenz frowned, furrowing his brow even further if it were possible. “This is my choice,” he said. “There is no cause for pity.”</p><p>However, Mercedes merely set down the tea, dusting off the front of her dress. “I think I’ve heard enough. Thank you for the tea, Lorenz. I look forward to our next little party.”</p><p>Wait. She knew of the punishment? Rationally enough, she had to, but – something didn’t make sense. If Mercedes clearly did not want to involve herself with Lorenz, then why had she accepted? Maybe… maybe she had done something to offend Dimitri? Lorenz’s mind spun like a finely-tuned clock as he sat there, a cold cup of tea in his hands as he tried to figure out what had just happened.</p><p> </p><p>Who exactly was this a punishment for again?</p>
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